Let's Examine the Positive Side

You wouldn't guess that there are actually some perks to having cancer.  Okay, maybe "perks" isn't quite the right word.  But you know what I mean.  There are some things that definitely make having cancer not quite as bad as it seems.  Well, that's not exactly right either.  Let me try this again.  Ahem.  Cancer sucks and chemo sucks and with that much suckiness you have to try and find things about your life that don't suck or you'd likely throw yourself off of a very high ledge.  Yes.  I do believe that's what I was trying to say originally.  So, in the spirit of positivity, here are some things that don't totally suck.

1) Presents.  Our patients have received lots of them.  Last week, Dad was sporting a t-shirt someone had given him that said, "Cancer is not for sissies".  And I swear Sam get's a new plate of amazing looking baked goods every single day.  If you plan to get cancer at some point, it would be a good idea to plan it far enough out from your birthday that people arent tempted to try and "double up".  Just sayin.

2) You actually save money.  Now, I'm not sure if you know this or not, but Dad has been going to the same barber since I was like, yea big.  So I can't imagine he's been shelling out the big bucks for his haircuts over the years, but now?  He's got a few months to dodge that bill and start filling his piggy bank.  Or maybe use it to invest in some great hats.  FYI He recently requested a turbin.

3) Guilt free lounge time.  In your adult life, you will likely never have as good of an excuse to sit and do nothing for long periods of time than you will when you're getting chemo.  It's a great reason to upgrade your Netflix account, grab your snuggie, and get caught up on Downton Abby.  I mean Chicago Fire.

4) The excuse of excuses.  If you're supposed to be somewhere important and your buddy calls you up to find out why you're a no show, you simply say, "yeah, sorry, I have cancer".  It's that simple.  No one can argue with you.  No one can even be upset with you.  It is literally the ultimate excuse.  It might be the only time in your whole life that you can get out of garbage duty with nary a complaint.  You might get the silent treatment for an hour or two, but you can live with that.